St. Neotian Fensign Readings

by Erial

February 2002


Venus is creeping about in the fifth house and there is a distinct lack of effervescence and sparkle to your waters. Unlike other years, this Valentines Day is really important to the person you are with now ( or will soon will be with, if you play your cards right) Although they pretend that it means nothing to them, actually it means the world. A few well chosen lines of prose, a tasteful bouquet of flowers and Bob's your uncle ( or soon will be........) Lucky poet; Dickinson.


I can see that caution has been your watch word in heart related matters, but Venus is now showing in the 4th house with Lepus rising, so I suggest you throw your reserve to the wind and reap the rewards. With a little attention to detail, you will be almost irresistible to the opposite sex and with a little thought afore hand, you will be surrounded by admirers, all seeking your personal attention. Beware the Cunning Hedgehog who also has plans.............Lucky poet; Frost.


As one of the most romantic signs in the Fens, you will give your all to shower your loved one with a display worthy of your tender affections. Beware that this lavish foreplay may not end up quite the way you plan, as they are allergic to prawn cocktail ( itchy rash) champagne ( sensitive kidneys) chocolate ( violent retching) flowers ( "Bless you, pass tissue" ) and silk sheets ( purple blotches and double vision) You might want to settle for something shiny that glitters ( and no, I am not talking about new cutlery)
Lucky poet; Coldridge ( good luck!)


Your tarn veritably fizzes with expectation, but Columbia is rising and Lyra is in the third quarter. You are such a busy little thing that it may not have occurred to you that by rushing through life, you might be missing out on something very special. Concentrate on one thing at a time and stop trying to be in all places at all times. If you would just ease up a bit, you might be able to see someone hanging around who has been waiting for you to notice them. Lucky poet; Mann.


I see half a soggy postage stamp and a dead snail in your tern. A long past love will be re-entering your life and if you don't watch it this puppy love will chew up your heart, widdle on your social life and generally play merry hell with your libido. In a firm voice tell this person to "Go home!" or at the very least "Sit and stay!" They may seem all ready to play, but they have been a bad dog in the past and you will find it almost impossible to house break them. Lucky color; purple, lucky poet; Whitman.


I suggest you concentrate on quantity rather than quality when it comes to Valentines day this year. Although your tasteful, well chosen gift will appear expensive and lavish to those in the know, the one you seek to impress is more your Woolworth's-type than your Harrods-type, if you know what I mean. Stick with gaudy bright shiny things wrapped in flashy paper and leave the subtle approach alone. More is much better in this case. Lucky poet; Woods.


Ah you are a shy and timorous wee beastie in the boudoir department, naturally cautious and bashful. Well, this is no time to be a shrinking violet as you have a rival for the hand ( and the rest) of your beloved. A quick brush up on your romance tactics is required and there is a Gallant Owl nearby who will help train you for your mission, if you ask them. Beware small permanently grinning Pigeons who are always asking about your love life. Lucky poet; Shakespeare


Write it on the fridge, write it on your hand, write it on the calendar at work, write it on a post it and staple it to the budgie, write it on your bathroom mirror, write it in the dirt on your car, write it in wet cement on your door step, write it in your diary, write it in big, BIG letters and pin it to the dog. The 14th. Valentines Day is the 14th. Your only excuse for forgetting Valentines Day is getting hit by a car, and even then, your beloved will want to know if you had anything in your pocket with their name on it. Lucky poet; Blake.



I see by the density and clouding of your tarn that you have other things on your mind this month. It has been a difficult start to the New Year in many ways for you, but you need to shake off these annoyances and plunge ahead regardless. In time, the matter will all come to a conclusion;worrying about it is not going to make it happen any faster. You will receive and unexpected ego boost on the 14th as a secret admirer ( a Bashful Lobster) will finally pluck up the courage to let you know how they feel. Lucky poet; Thomas.


Ah, the silver tongued Fensign, the one who woos and charms their way into hearts as they slip away to notch it up in their little Black Book. Well, I hate to tell you this, but due to a foreshadowing of Musca by Cetus, you will have all the suave charm, wit and grace of a ostrich with mumps. On the bright side, if you dump that awful jumper Auntie Mauve gave you for Christmas,at least the dog will stop barking and trying to run away from home and your co-workers will be able to look at you with a straight face. Lucky poet; Silverstein.


Your puddle is very shallow and has strands of algae forming a crust near the edges. I see by the shadowing of Pollux over Pyxis that your love life has stagnated badly over recent months and that you have been taking a certain persons affections for granted. It is past time for you to make an effort in the romance department and to pull out all the stops to woo and impress the object of your affections. See the council of a sprightly old Aardvark who knows a few tricks. Lucky poet; Gilbran.


By now, if you stuck to your New Years resolution, you should be starting to look pretty svelte and should be getting those jeans on without the aid of a crow bar and baby talc. Your new slimmer self has attracted attention from several parties who will soon make their admiration known. Beware a Two-faced Hedgehog bearing After Eights, they preferred you on the plump side and plan to sabotage your efforts to become lean and lithe by courting you with delicious fattening tidbits and trifles. Lucky poet; Dr. Seuss.

Beaver Beast

My, what an unusual little configuration I see in your tarn. I see a tall dark person with a strange accent who's breath smells of bitter almonds and who's hobbies include decimating third world nations and playing the banjo. By all means accept the generous gifts they offer, but be very reticent about promising them more than just a quick cup of tea and a few Digestives. Lucky poet; Milne.


Erial may be contacted at





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