St. Neotian Fensign Readings

by Erial

May 2002


Brackish waters with a low P.H. and Antila rising indicate that financially you are in the mood for a flutter or two. A couple of quid on a dead cert may not be the best way to go though, instead take a chance on a long shot as Lady Luck is smiling on you and the three legged long shot will make you enough to pay off your other gambling debts.


Your pool is shallow and murky and there is an old yogurt pot floating in the 3rd house. You are normally very tolerant of other peoples little foibles, but this month a really really annoying know it all pigeon is going to push all your buttons and cause you to lose all sight of reason. Hard as it may be, laugh off the matter and stride firmly away leaving them to wonder if they were on the right track after all. Losing your cool will just cause others to think the pigeon ( who is a stirring little S.O.B and deserves a good kicking, if the truth be told) knew what he was talking about.


I see water troubles and someone holding a bucket. Hopefully this is not an indication of your old bladder problems flaring up again and is instead a simple, yet excruciatingly expensive, problem with the washing machine. My advice is to check the pockets of your clothing before bunging a load in as a simple paper clip will enable a sullen Woodpecker to charge the earth for repairs and take his girlfriend ( a nubile young Pigeon) to Paris for the weekend.


According to the density of the tarn and the fact that Fomalhaut is descending, you are going to suffer with an annoying little health problem this month. It may start out quite mildly and respond well to the over the counter medication you purchased ( wearing that disguise fooled no one, except your dog) but unless you visit your Dr., this problem is going to get way out of hand and require major surgery. You think you are embarrassed now? Imagine being hauled off on a stretcher in front of your work mates next month with your tearful boss insisting on going in the ambulance with you........................


The mists are low above your tarn in the twilight and the dubious clarity indicate that you are going to become enmeshed in an international drug cartel underworld dealings this month, simply by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I suggest that you skip walking across the Priory for the next few weeks and avoid small Weasels wearing macs and looking nervous. Take a taxi and save yourself a lot of heart ache.


This month would be an excellent one for you to have a major paper work sort out. Invest in a sturdy filing cabinet and get all your affairs in order while you have the time, energy and the motivation. Double check all your bank statements and have a good hard look at your credit card bills. Someone somewhere has been taking liberties with your finances since you joined that on-line Duck Fanciers Club.


I see by this birch twig and the scattering of sweety wrappers that you are feeling in a tender and soppy mood this month. Your hormones are going to be drastically effected by the lunar tides and you will be weepy one moment and raging incoherently ( not a pretty sight) the next. Now may not be the best time to make any life changing decisions and you should firmly restrain yourself from any kind of meeting with your boss to talk about your career goals.


There is peace and harmony in your pool this month and Libra is rising unopposed in the 2nd House. Those around you will be running in circles like headless chickens and you will stand alone as the voice of calm reason. Unfortunately, without shouting they are not going to hear you above the screaming and pandemonium, so don't even try or you will just add to the mayhem. This aura of calm will remain with you until the third week when a harassed hedgehog with a court date informs you about what is going on.........


Romance is in the air for you. A good looking young Toad will confess that they find you very sexy and that they want to move the relationship in to the boudoir department. This confession will boost your ego and cause you to feel young and skittish, but beware, this beautiful creature has broken more hearts than you have had cups of cocoa. You will be just another notch on the bed post. On the other hand, what the hell? You weren't doing anything that night anyway.............


There is a soggy shoe lace and a bus ticket to Ely in your pool. This month your obsession with shoes will become public unless you can bring yourself in check and stop these wild shopping sprees. Although it is not a major kink, it is rapidly getting to be one and you need to control it. Already your friends are calling you "Imelda" behind your back and the sales people all rub their hands with glee knowing they can download those awful clod hoppers on you if they are your size. Wearing them at home is one thing, but out in public? Those heels with your legs? Be real, Cinderella..............


I see a period of challenges coming into being in the work place. Some one new is going to be starting there and unbeknown to you this annoying creature is actually related to your boss and is there as an undercover agent to find out where all the office supplies are mysteriously going. Put your plans to build the Taj Mahal out of paper clips on hold and be not tempted by that new box of pens that mysteriously appear on your desk. It might also be prudent to rave a little about how wonderful you think your boss is, but do this out of earshot of other workers who will otherwise make your life sheer hell in the coming months.


The memories of recent, how shall we say? "Transgressions" will lie heavily on you this month. There is nothing you can say or do that will take back what you said in the pub, but with a little judicial help from a spin doctor Fox, you might just be able to salvage a few threads of your dignity for when the effluence hits the circulator. Keep a low profile and start being seen to do public good works. Donate to charity and make sure you treat everyone in your social circle with kindness and respect. This will cause them to have doubt of the credibility of the rumors they hear this month.

Beaver Beast

I see from this tarnished penny and the shopping list floating in the 3rd house that finances are going to be a bit tight this month. You will muddle through like you always do, but it might be a good idea to stock up on candles and baked beans while you still have some jingle in your pocket. Now is an ideal time to call in all those I.O.U.'s from people, especially from the Woodpecker who is feeling flush and just got a pay raise, and to turn up at peoples houses just as they are sitting down to dinner. They will feel obliged to feed you, after all, there is only so much you can do with beans.


Erial may be contacted at





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